When that fails, law enforcement intervention becomes the final option. You mean lying to police about criminal activity? Her eyes flashed with righteous anger. I mean protecting community investments from demographic degradation.
Do you have any idea what a single motorcycle restoration operation does to surrounding property values? Derek grabbed her arm desperately. "Aunt Dolores, stop talking immediately." But she shook him off, completely lost in her need to justify three months of harassment. Property values aren't abstract concepts, Nathaniel.
They're mathematical calculations based on neighborhood demographics, noise levels, visual aesthetics, and resident behavioral patterns. Your garage workshop violated every optimization principle. The taste of impending justice was sweet as fresh chrome polish. What about the other residents you targeted?
Case studies in demographic correction, she said with academic precision. The single mother: excessive child noise depressed values in a 30-unit radius. The elderly widower, property maintenance deficiencies created visual blight. The landscaper, commercial vehicle traffic suggested zoning violations.
She was providing federal prosecutors with a complete confession to systematic discrimination. Derek made one last desperate attempt at damage control. Nathaniel, what my aunt is describing are standard property management practices. Standard practices?
Dolores laughed bitterly. Derek, show some backbone. What we accomplished here was revolutionary. Targeted demographic optimization through strategic enforcement escalation.
She pulled out her own phone, showing me what looked like a spreadsheet. This documents our success rate. 15 Families relocated. Average timeline 4 months.
Average property-value improvement after relocation: 67%. We perfected the methodology. Derek looked ready to vomit. Oh my god, Dolores, you kept records.
Of course, I kept records. This system could be franchised nationwide. HOA demographic optimization as a professional service. We were pioneers.
The garage door was open, autumn air carrying the distant sound of sirens. Not coming for us this time, but for the criminals confessing in my workspace. One more question, I said, adjusting a wrench while recording equipment captured everything. How many other neighborhoods are you running this operation in?
Dolores's smile was pure predatory satisfaction. Twelve active projects across three counties. Projected revenue for the next fiscal year: approximately $4.7 million. Derek sat down heavily on my workbench, his head in his hands.
You kept records of everything, every neighborhood, every family, every illegal operation. Illegal? Dolores's voice rose to a near shriek. We're optimization specialists, property value enhancement through strategic resident management.
There's nothing illegal about protecting community investments.