Onward to the actual story. The train depot had recently hired a new manager. I’m not sure what the official title would have been, so I will just refer to him as a manager. This manager decided to be very by the book. He very quickly became hated by everyone because the rule book at the time seemed to have been written by someone more concerned with creating arbitrary rules than making sure things actually worked.
One day, Grandpa grabbed his lanterns and jumped into the caboose at the end of a line of train cars. The engine backed up along the track to prepare for coupling and the manager came running out yelling and waving his arms. The engine driver and the manager argued back and forth and even Grandpa could see the engine driver’s exasperated sigh from the back of the train. Malicious compliance had been initiated.
The engine slowly backed along the track until the couplings came together in a gentle kiss or at least as gentle as two multi-ton titans can kiss. The chain of train cars did not even shudder. The engine driver then moved forward leaving the line of train cars behind. The couplings had touched but there had been no bang to signal their connection. Grandpa signaled that it had not worked.
The train stopped then slowly and gently reversed again. Another kiss. No coupling. It pulled forward, backed up, and tried again. Kiss. No coupling. This repeated for fifteen minutes before the engine driver and the manager got into another argument. Grandpa said he could guess how the argument went. The engine driver was probably saying, “This isn’t working and we’re wasting time. We need to get back on schedule.” And the manager was probably saying, “Nope. Keep following the book exactly. No deviation. The book says this will work so follow the book until it does.”
Fifteen more minutes passed. Kiss. No coupling. Pull forward, back up, try again. They had been at it for thirty minutes by now and the train was officially behind schedule. However, the manager was still insisting that they had to keep doing it by the book. Finally, someone higher up, possibly the depot or station master, came along trying to find out why the engine was acting like the slowest pendulum in existence and why they had wasted half an hour.
After getting the story from both the engine driver and the manager, the depot master finally told the manager to shut his howling screamer and let the people who actually worked on trains get the job done. This stupid process had gone on long enough and it was painfully obvious that the book was wrong. The manager crossed his arms and stood there steaming.
The engine pulled forward a bit more than the rulebook allowed. The whistle blew its warning call. Then the engine came in reverse at a good clip. Obviously, it was not at full ramming speed, but it was fast enough to get the job done. Bang! The line of train cars shuddered gently. Then the engine pulled forward. The cars were finally coupled. Grandpa signaled, “All good,” and the train got underway.
Grandpa did not get to hear the reaming that followed, but as the caboose passed the manager on its way out of the depot, the man looked like a little boy getting the scolding of his life.