I photographed the vehicle from the sidewalk and checked the county's published inspection procedures. The next morning I made a formal inquiry. The county confirmed it had no inspection scheduled for my property and no employee by Randy's name assigned to that function.
I did not claim the county had committed a crime. I reported that someone had presented himself as acting for the county when the county had no record of authorizing him. Then I forwarded the reply to my own homeowner file and asked the association's management company to explain Randy's role.
Two days later, Mrs. Chen asked for Dave's number. Then the Johnsons wanted a copy of my plant plan. A family near the pool stopped me on my evening walk and asked whether lavender would survive in a yard that received full sun.
The irony wasn't lost on me. Victoria had tried to make my front garden a warning. Instead, it had become the most popular conversation starter on the street.
By the end of that week, the first California poppies had appeared, small orange cups opening toward the afternoon light. Birds started visiting the feeder Mrs. Chen gave me. I couldn't remember the last time I had enjoyed looking at my own front yard so much.
Victoria wasn't enjoying it at all.
Seven notices arrived in ten days.
The first concerned my trash bin. Victoria claimed it had been left three inches beyond the acceptable curb line. The photograph attached to the citation showed a sliver of black plastic beside my driveway, but not enough of the pavement to establish where the bin actually stood. The base fine was $150, followed by a $50 administrative fee and a $25 inspection charge.
I asked the management office for the measurement and inspection report. The reply consisted of the original photograph pasted into a new email.
The second notice said my upstairs blinds were an unauthorized opacity level. I stood in the bedroom holding the paper while looking at ordinary white blinds I had purchased from a hardware store. The blinds had been there since I moved in. They had not changed color, thickness, or allegiance to the association.
The third was an oil stain on the driveway. I checked the image and immediately recognized the shape of the supposed stain. It was the shadow of the oak tree on the neighboring property. At the time printed on the notice, the sun had been low enough to put the shadow in that exact position.
I photographed the same pattern on the following afternoon. The tree obliged by remaining a tree.
Thursday brought a noise complaint about a dog I did not own. Friday brought a second landscape inspection fee. Saturday's violation alleged that a guest had obstructed a fire access lane, even though my driveway was empty that day and the visitor's vehicle pictured in the notice had been parked somewhere else entirely.