She nodded, but the movement was small and reluctant. "Henry told me I was being ridiculous."
That surprised me. I had spent the night picturing him enjoying the attention, perhaps laughing at me while Rachel explained our argument. I didn't know Henry well enough to assign him a motive. I only knew he had a history with her that she had chosen to put between us.
"When did he say that?" I asked.
"When I told him what I'd texted you. He said I was trying to start a fight I couldn't control."
"Then he was right."
Rachel's eyes flashed. "Of course you'd take his side."
"This isn't a competition. I asked what happened."
She pushed her chair back. "I feel like every sentence I say is going on trial."
"You sent an email in my name to my sister. I think we're allowed to ask difficult questions now."
For a moment she seemed ready to argue again. Instead she walked to the window and looked out at the wet street. A delivery truck was backing slowly into the alley. Someone across the way had propped an umbrella above a dog that refused to step into a puddle.
"I didn't just see you and your dad when I read that letter," she said finally. "I saw the way your whole mood changes when your family gets mentioned. I saw myself spending the year trying to make this wedding happen while you were pulled into something painful I couldn't control."
"You don't have to control everything painful in my life."
"I know that now."
"I don't think you do. Yesterday you tried to control me by making me jealous. Six months ago you controlled what information I could receive. Both times you called it love afterward."
She cried quietly, facing the window. I wanted to tell her I knew she wasn't a monster, that she had also done kind things for me, that I remembered all the reasons we'd fallen in love. But I was beginning to understand that those reassurances could come later, if they came at all. Right then, she needed to sit with the meaning of what she had done, and I needed room to feel it without managing her response.
We spent the next two hours discussing practical matters. Her sister could take her for at least a month. I would help arrange transportation for anything she couldn't carry. We would share the cost of the apartment through the end of the current billing period, then settle the remaining household expenses according to what we'd agreed in writing when she moved in. Neither of us would withdraw money from the joint account until we had reviewed the final charges together.
I told her she could have her half of the furnishings we'd purchased jointly or the equivalent value in money. I wasn't interested in winning ownership of a lamp because I was hurt. She seemed surprised by that, which saddened me. She had come home expecting an argument that would decide which of us had the right to be more upset. Instead we were discussing the microwave and a grocery account.
When we reached the engagement ring, she twisted it around her finger. "Do you want this back?"