I asked what clean hands looked like when your spouse was already planning how to leave you. Peter said it looked boring: keep copies of records you are entitled to access, protect ordinary business operations, document expenses accurately, and do not use money or company property as leverage over a personal dispute. He suggested we bring our accountant into the process to separate business questions from marital ones. He also told me not to contact Damon and not to threaten Monique. "The best thing you can do right now," he said, "is behave like the version of yourself you will be comfortable describing six months from now."
That was infuriating advice because it was clearly good advice. I spent the following three weeks doing things that would never make an interesting television show. I copied statements from accounts I already had lawful access to, reviewed household expenses, and asked Sam to make sure our business records were in proper order. Peter and an independent valuation specialist began reviewing Harborline's ownership history, its growth during the marriage, and the debts we had taken on to expand. Nothing was moved into a secret account, nothing was suddenly transferred to Ray or Sam, and nobody created convenient paperwork after the fact.
The review was uncomfortable in ways I had not expected. I discovered how much I had spent on Erica's consulting business without asking to see a plan for making it self-supporting. I found recurring charges for memberships, hotel stays, premium shopping accounts, and a retreat registration that had been described to me as professional development. Some of those were ordinary purchases we had discussed, and I did not pretend otherwise. Others were expenses Erica had presented as business investments while keeping the business's actual income carefully vague.
Sam walked through the statements with me one afternoon after the last customer had collected a repaired boat. He had made a spreadsheet that separated legitimate Harborline spending from benefits we had chosen to provide as part of my compensation and from personal charges that had drifted into the wrong places. He did not accuse Erica of stealing from us. He simply placed one finger on the columns and asked whether I realized how easily a habit could become a risk when nobody checked it.
"I thought I was helping her build something," I said. Sam leaned back and looked at me over his glasses. "You were," he replied.
"The question is whether she was building the same thing you thought you were paying for." He did not say anything else, and I appreciated that more than he knew. Friends who want to be helpful sometimes rush to give you the anger they think you ought to feel. Sam was giving me information instead.
Ray was a little less delicate. When I told him that I believed Erica was becoming involved with Damon, he leaned against a tire stack and said, "You want me to say something ugly about the guy? Because I have about twelve things ready, and several are probably accurate." I told him I wanted him to keep being my friend without turning the situation into a contest of insults. He nodded, unusually serious. "Then I want you eating lunch every day, answering my calls, and remembering that you have a whole life here no matter what she decides."