The first story is titled HOA Karen parked her Tesla on my lawn so I buried it in mulch. I bought my property back in 2019 and it had been nothing but peace ever since until six months ago when the HOA Karen from hell moved in next door. My house sits on about two acres of land that I inherited from my grandma. It is technically inside the boundaries of a neighborhood but my property predates the homeowners association by about forty years. When they incorporated back in the early 2000s my land was explicitly excluded.
I have all the documentation surveys and legal paperwork. The HOA neighborhood is nice enough but my place is different. I have beautiful plants a vegetable garden some chickens in the back and my lawn is whatever height I feel like keeping it. My property line is marked by a stone wall my grandma built in the seventies and there is a gravel area just inside my boundary where I park my truck. Everything was fine until she showed up.
My neighbor sold their house and the new president of the HOA board bought it. I am going to call her Karen because honestly what else would I call her. Within a week of moving in she was standing at my front door with a clipboard and the kind of smile that makes you want to check if your wallet is still in your pocket. By the way she was already living in the HOA neighborhood previously but in another house. Hi there I am your new neighbor and HOA president. I wanted to introduce myself and give you these.
She thrust a stack of papers at me. I took them a bit confused. What is this. Your HOA bylaws and a notice about your lawn. It is exceeding the maximum height by about four inches. You will need to mow it by Friday or there will be a fine. I actually laughed in her face. I am not in your HOA. Her smile tightened. Everyone in this neighborhood is part of the HOA. Well not me. My property predates your HOA and I was explicitly excluded when it formed. I have the paperwork.
I do not think that is correct. It is. Check your records. She left but I could tell she was not happy with this. That should have been the end of it but it was not. Two days later another knock this time. She had her husband with her a guy who looked like he was desperately wishing he was anywhere else. I checked the records and while your property may have been excluded initially we have updated our boundaries. You are inside them now. I kept my voice level. You cannot just expand your boundaries to include private property that never joined. That is not how property law works.
Well we will have our lawyer look into it. In the meantime you still need to mow your lawn. No. Her face went red. Excuse me. No I am not mowing my lawn to your specifications because I am not in your HOA. Have a good day Karen. I closed the door. Her husband muttered something that sounded like an apology as they walked away. And then the next week I got a bill in my mailbox. HOA dues for the quarter plus late fees for the lawn violation I had supposedly committed. Three hundred seventy five dollars.
I threw it in the recycling bin and then came the calls. She had somehow gotten my phone number and started texting me about violations. My fence needed painting. My mailbox was not regulation. My vegetable garden was visible from the street and constituted an eyesore on and on. I blocked her number and that is when she started parking on my property. I noticed her Tesla in my gravel parking area one morning when I was heading out and at first I thought maybe she had made a mistake. So I walked over to her house and knocked and she answered in gym clothes holding a protein shake.
Your car is parked on my property. Can you move it. Oh that. Well the street parking was full and since you have all this empty space I figured you would not mind. It is only during the day while I am working from home. Well I do mind. It is my property. Please do not park there again. It is really not a big deal. Well it is to me. Move your car. She rolled her eyes but did not move it. Well at least for one day because the next morning it was back. I knocked again and this time she opened the door looking annoyed.
What now. Your car is on my property again. Like I said street parking is full. You are not using that space. That is not the point Karen. It is my land not community parking. You know if you just paid your HOA dues and followed the rules like everyone else we would not have these problems. You are being really selfish. I stared at her. I am being selfish for not wanting you to park on my private property without permission. You have all this land. What is a few square feet. Move your car Karen. If it is there tomorrow I will have it towed.
You cannot tow someone for parking on unused land. Watch me. She slammed the door. Her car was there the next morning and the morning after that and every single morning for two weeks. I called the towing company and they told me that since it was private property and clearly marked as such they could tow it. But I would need to post visible notice first. So I put up a sign saying private property no parking violators will be towed. She parked there anyway. And when I called the towing company they came out looked at the situation and told me it would be two hundred dollars. Fine by me.
Except she came running out of her house screaming before they could even hook up her car. What are you doing. That is my car. The tow truck driver pointed at the sign. You are parked on private property maam. Owner requested a tow. This is harassment. I am calling the police. Maam you are welcome to do that but you are still parked illegally on private property. She turned to me. You are doing this because you are mad about the HOA dues. Well I am doing this because you keep parking on my land even after I have asked you repeatedly not to. I will sue you for harassment. Go ahead.
The tow truck driver was hooking up her Tesla when two police officers arrived. She ran over to them crying about how I was harassing her and trying to steal her car. One of the officers walked over to me asking what is going on here. I explained the situation calmly and showed the sign I had posted. He walked over to where her Tesla was parked looked at everything and then came back. Maam this is his property. You are parked illegally. But he is not even using this space. Does not matter. It is his land. This is ridiculous. I am the HOA president.
The officers expression did not change. Well that does not give you the right to park on someone elses property. She had to pay the towing company to unhook her car and she drove it away while glaring at me the entire time. The officers told me I had handled it correctly and that if she kept parking there I should keep calling them. And I thought it would be the end of it but it absolutely was not. The next day I found a note on my door claiming I had violated some obscure code about unauthorized towing on community property. Three hundred dollar fine.
I called my lawyer and he laughed and told me to save all the notices for the lawsuit he was going to file if they kept harassing me. And then her car was back in my parking area the following week and the week after that. And every time I would call the towing company she would come running out and move it at the last second screaming about harassment. I was getting tired of this game more than tired. I was done. That is when I had my idea. I own a landscaping business and it is a small operation just me and two guys but we do some good work. We had a huge delivery of mulch coming in for a commercial project and I had arranged to have it dumped on my property temporarily.
And when the mulch truck showed up her Tesla was in its usual spot in my gravel area on my private property. The driver asked me where I wanted the mulch and I pointed at my parking area right there. There is a car there. I know. He looked at me looked at the car and grinned. You sure. Positive. That car is illegally parked on my property and I have asked the owner to move it like dozens of times. I have even called the police. I have tried to have it towed and she keeps parking here anyway. So yeah I am sure. Your property your call. He dumped the mulch on the Tesla. You could not even see the car from the street anymore. Just a big beautiful mound of fresh mulch.
I paid the driver went inside and waited. It took about thirty minutes and the shrieking started before I even saw her. She came running across her lawn still in her pajamas screaming like someone had stolen her firstborn child. What did you do. What did you do to my car. I walked outside. I had mulch delivered. You buried my car. No I had mulch delivered to my property. Your car happened to be illegally parked in the delivery zone. You did this on purpose. You are right. I did. And you have been parking on my property for weeks despite me asking you nicely calling the police and attempting to have your car towed. You ignored all of that. So I had mulch delivered to my property where your car was illegally parked.
Her face was purple. You cannot do this. I can. Actually it is my property. I am calling the police. Go ahead. Tell them that you illegally parked your car on someone elses property and they had mulch delivered. And yeah she called the cops on me. And yeah the same two officers from before showed up looked at the situation and I swear one of them was trying not to laugh at this. She was screaming at them about property damage and demanding they arrest me but the officer held up his hand. Yeah maam is that your car under the mulch. Yeah. And is it parked on his property. That is not the point. Well that is exactly the point. We have been here before and we told you to stop parking here.
He buried my car. He had mulch delivered to his own property and your car was in the way. The other officer turned to me. Did you damage her vehicle. Nope. The first officer turned back to her. Maam you need to dig out your car and move it and stop parking on his property. Are you serious right now. Completely. This is insane. He buried my Tesla in mulch. The officers expression did not change. You parked your car illegally on his property after being told repeatedly not to. Figure it out. And they left. And she stood there for a long moment staring at the mulch pile then at me then back at the mulch pile. Her husband came out took one look at the situation and went back inside without saying a word.
You are going to pay for this she hissed at me. No I am not. You are going to dig out your car and stop parking on my property Karen. Or next time I will have the mulch delivered when you are not home and you can figure it out when you get back. She called someone and a few hours later a group of guys with shovels showed up and it took them most of the afternoon to dig out her Tesla. The next morning there was a notice on my door. Formal HOA complaint for creating a so called public nuisance with unsightly landscape materials visible from the street. I took a picture of it and sent it to my lawyer with the message added to the pile.
He called me an hour later saying I am filing a cease and desist today. If she contacts you one more time about HOA dues or violations we are suing her for harassment. The cease and desist was delivered afterwards. My lawyer made it very clear that any further contact about HOA matters regarding my property would result in immediate legal action including a lawsuit for harassment trespassing and intentional infliction of emotional distress and her car never appeared on my property again. And yeah guys if you ask me too many people really do not understand how HOA boundaries work. I mean you cannot just update your bylaws to annex a neighbors plot. That is simply called land theft. The sheer audacity of this woman to think that she could unilaterally rewrite property lines is simply mind boggling. But then again it does not seem to be anything too special for these outrageous Karens nowadays.
And a user in the Reddit comment said this is why I live in the woods. If my neighbor tried to fine me for my grass height the local crows would handle it before I even had to. Burying a sixty thousand dollar electric toaster in landscaping supplies is the most suburban warfare thing I have ever heard in my life. And another Reddit comment said my uncle had a neighbor who kept using his driveway turnaround for years because it was more convenient than doing a three point turn in the street. He asked nicely. He even left notes and he called an emergency line. However the guy kept doing it. Eventually my uncle just started parking his own car there every day specifically to block it. Petty but effective. Eventually the point is that when someone refuses every reasonable solution you hand them people start to improvise.
The next story is titled do not trust me enough to not micromanage me. Enjoy staying late to do my job. At the time of this incident I had been working for a big box superstore for about twelve years five of which as a department manager. I managed three areas fresh meat frozen seafood and prepackaged deli and breakfast meats. I supervised two part timers and two full timers. And I reported to three supervisors ranking in order an assistant manager a co manager and then the store manager. The situation on a particular Thursday morning it was just myself and one of my full timers called Carl. Carl was on duty until three p.m. myself until four p.m. and no one else after.
My other full timer was on his day off. One part timer was not available Thursday to Saturday and the other one was on vacation. Coverage was thin at best and would continue to be that way through the weekend having been super light on coverage all week due to one of my guys being on vacation. The deli wall was looking a little thin. On this Thursday morning I had to decide how best to prepare for the weekend. I knew that I would not have enough staff to commit a person to filling the deli wall on Friday or Saturday. And as soon as I had finished breaking down Thursday mornings delivery with Carl I began busting my ass to get the deli wall as full as possible before I left that day. That way I could have my guys focus on the fresh meat wall throughout the weekend where I knew it would be super busy.
While I did this I entrusted Carl to refill the fresh meat wall for Thursday nights four p.m. rush. He was a very hard worker despite his age and health and I knew he could handle it on his own. Around eleven a.m. Carl had to take his lunch break. And while he is gone my co manager Scott arrives to work and sees only me. I am filling the deli wall while only half of the fresh meat wall had been stocked thus far. And Scott does not like this. He tells my assistant manager Brenda to have me swap to the fresh wall as it is more important for that nights customers. I immediately seek out Scott to tell him why this is a bad idea and why I am filling deli meats and not fresh meats. But Scott does not care. He does not want to hear what I have to say. And I am to do exactly as I am told. He does not want me to fill the deli wall though only the fresh wall.
Did I mention that Scott is ex military and still acts like he is enlisted. Cue the malicious compliance. I did exactly as Scott told me. After having only worked about an hour on the deli wall I put all the product back into the cooler and began filling the fresh wall. Carl returned from lunch confused to see me and I explained what had happened before taking my own lunch. Upon my return the fresh wall was nearly finished but I went ahead and helped Carl continue filling it. Soon we were done and just topping it off throughout the rest of the afternoon. If someone bought a pack of beef we both went back into the cooler to bring out another. Same with chicken pork anything walking back and forth one package at a time until Carl left at three p.m. and then I left at four p.m.
As I walked past the deli wall on my way out it was already looking so much worse than it had when I arrived that morning. The aftermath when I arrived to work at seven a.m. on Friday morning the first thing I did was walk past the deli wall. I was completely caught off guard to see it had been filled. As I am theorizing who could have possibly filled it Brenda comes by and sees the puzzled look on my face. The following is what she told me what happened after I left the night before. So the little bit that had been on the deli wall when I had left only continued to be shopped more and more of the wall emptied out as people shopped. It began to look like people had been panic buying. It had gotten so empty around eight p.m. a market manager came in to do his own shopping.
And I did not explain this before but a market manager is who my store manager reports to. In other words someone who has even greater authority than anyone in the store. Market manager Bob goes to buy some lunch meat and lo and behold there is almost nothing on the shelf. He notices the entire wall is nearly bare and he is furious. Bob demands that Scott come over to the deli wall immediately. Scott runs over and gets his ass chewed out. Bob orders Scott to get the wall stocked immediately and Scott is only now understanding the scope of his blunder. The wall is so empty that it will take a few hours to fill. And it is in this moment that Scott realizes how hard he had screwed up because he had not checked the schedule earlier and is now discovering that there is no one in the meat department that evening. There is literally no one he can delegate this task to.
And guess who ended up having to fill the deli wall. That is right. Scott had no choice but to do it himself and he did not get it done until midnight. Remember he had arrived just before eleven a.m. that day and he had to be back at eight a.m. on Friday. Also Scott is salaried so he got no overtime pay for the extra hours worked. And Scott never did apologize to me for not trusting my judgment and for not listening to me. But he did learn his lesson. And thankfully from that day forward he did not try to micromanage me and let me run my departments unimpeded.
The next story is titled you want a physical signature for every single requisition. I hope you brought a comfortable chair. Myself Ethan and I work as a lead technician for a specialized industrial firm where we handle heavy machinery repairs. Now because parts are expensive and often custom ordered our old system was simple. I would email my manager hey we need a four thousand dollar hydraulic seal. He would reply approved and I would order it. Quick efficient and everyone was happy. Enter Kevin. Kevin is a new efficiency consultant turned director of operations. Kevin thinks that email is for lazy people and decided that to curb unauthorized spending every single requisition regardless of cost now requires a physical ink on paper signature on a specific form forty hand delivered to his office.
I told Kevin that this was a bad idea because we are a high volume shop. On a busy Monday I might order like forty different items ranging from five dollar bolts to ten thousand dollar engines. But Kevins response was if it is not signed by me in person the company is not paying for it and no exceptions. I do not care if it is a nickel or a grand. I want to see every request that crosses your desk. I realized Kevin did not quite grasp what every request meant. I usually batch my orders or I handle the small stuff like washers lubricants safety goggles through a general shop fund but not anymore. Monday morning comes around. Instead of batching my needs into one list I treated every single individual component as a separate requisition. Need ten specific bolts. That is one form. Need a bottle of degreaser. That is a form. Need a replacement light bulb for the break room form.
By ten a.m. I had a stack of like sixty four individual forms. I walked into Kevins office. He was on a conference call. I waited and when he hung up I laid the stack down. Kevin what is this. The requisitions for the morning. You said you wanted to see every request. I need these signed so I can get the shop running. It took him like twenty minutes to sign them all because he insisted on reading each one. By the time he finished I was back with like fifteen more. And by Tuesday he was visibly annoyed. And by Wednesday the fallout really began. Because I was spending half my day walking back and forth to his office and waiting for him to finish meetings to get signatures the actual repair work slowed to a crawl. Three major clients called to ask why their machines were not ready.
And the breaking point was the emergency overnight. A local plant had a massive failure and we needed a twelve dollar O ring to fix a two hundred thousand dollar pump. It was around four forty five p.m. and Kevin had already headed out for a networking dinner. Now under the old rules I would just buy it and get reimbursed but under Kevins no exceptions rule I could not. I told the client I am sorry I do not have authorization to purchase the part until it is physically signed off by the director. The client was furious. They called the CEO. The CEO called Kevin at his dinner. Kevin told the CEO he would handle it in the morning. The CEO told Kevin to get his behind back to the office. Now Kevin had to drive forty five minutes back to the office in his suit just to sign a single piece of paper for a twelve dollar part.
The next morning a companywide memo went out. Digital approvals via email are reinstated for all items under five thousand dollars. Kevin does not look at me anymore when I walk past his office. However I still make sure to bring him a physical form for anything over five thousand dollars and one and I always make sure to wait until he is right in the middle of a very important lunch. After all he wanted to see every request.
The next story is a petty revenge story which is titled I threw gummy worms at a woman for talking and using her phone in a theater. So a few years ago I was watching Inside Out 2 in theaters sitting right in front of me with these two women and a young girl maybe seven to eight years old. Throughout the movie they kept talking and the two women would not stop using their phone. One of the women used hers on full brightness. It was so incredibly disruptive. I happened to have a pack of gummy worms but I did not want to waste any full worms on her. So after realizing at some point I could not take it anymore I bit off half of one worm and threw the other half at her and I did not miss. She turned around looked in my direction but I just kept looking straight at the screen as if nothing happened.
But then she still would not stop using her phone. So a few minutes later I bit off half of another gummy worm and threw the other half at her. And that really got her angry. She turned around looked right at me and said stop it. Again I just kept looking at the screen as if it was not me who threw it. Then she turned to the woman and little girl and said he is throwing gummy worms at me. The three of them turned around to look at me then looked around to see who else could have thrown it and they continued murmuring to each other. Then the little girl pointed at me at least I think it was me and said well it definitely was not that guy. The three of them turned back around to watch the movie and the woman finally dimmed her phone and eventually stopped using it several minutes later and they also shut up for the rest of the movie. The woman also left for a few minutes presumably to tell the staff on me but nothing came of it. So for future reference if you ever see someone talking and using their phone in a movie theater just throw popcorn or candy at them. They will not know who did it.