"Good," she said, then corrected herself. "Not good that you're frightened. Good that you're telling me. I spent too many years acting like fear wasn't there because admitting it seemed dangerous."
He turned toward her. "Were you scared when Dad went away?" She looked down at her hands.
"Every morning and every night. And then after he died, I got so used to being afraid that I stopped knowing what I was afraid of. I just stayed inside the fear." Eli considered the admission for a long time and finally asked her to leave the door slightly open.
She did. In the hall he could hear her speaking softly with Petra and putting a kettle on. Ordinary domestic sounds had returned to the compound, but Eli did not mistake them for proof that danger was over. He was beginning to understand that safety might not be the absence of frightening things. It might be the presence of people who would tell him the truth about them and help him decide what to do next.
Just before dawn, a federal investigator arrived with a colleague from a regional office. Her name was Special Agent Elena Alvarado, and she wore a plain dark jacket and shoes suitable for wet gravel. She introduced herself to Raina and Darla, explained the scope of the investigation, and asked to review the reports and recordings already collected by local deputies. Nothing about her arrival looked theatrical. That made Eli trust it more.
Alvarado did not promise an instant arrest of Voss or immunity for every person who cooperated. She explained that Presser could provide useful information if his attorney agreed to a lawful proffer process, and that Darla's older knowledge might help investigators connect some existing records. She also explained that witness safety would require planning beyond a single night in a guarded compound. Darla listened closely and asked questions Eli had not known to ask.
They spoke privately for much of the morning. Eli sat with Boon in the kitchen, listening to spoons strike cups and trying to do a worksheet the school counselor had emailed. He could not focus for more than a few sentences. When Boon noticed, he took the paper away and asked whether Eli wanted to help sort the spare parts cabinet later instead.
"Is that avoiding school?" Eli asked. Boon shook his head. "It's knowing when your mind is overloaded. We can come back to the worksheet when you're able to learn from it rather than just suffer through it." Eli studied the mechanic for a moment, then admitted he did not know what he would do if something happened to his mother after all this.
"That's not a problem you can solve by staying awake," Boon said. "She's talking to people who can help. You're allowed to be a boy while she does it." Eli wanted to believe him, but the habit of monitoring his mother had become as automatic as breathing. He knew no method for turning it off.