She gave me practical instructions. Keep the original video. Don't go looking for the car at Landon's address. Don't threaten Minerva or send a public accusation. Get a report number, explain the circumstances truthfully, and be prepared for the fact that officers might initially treat the dispute as one about revoked permission rather than a stranger stealing an unattended vehicle.
I drove my sedan to the police station with the title, insurance, video, and text messages. The desk officer listened, asked questions about ownership and prior access, and had me provide a written statement. He was careful not to promise an arrest. By the time I left, there was a report open for unauthorized use of the vehicle, and the officer had explained that further action would depend on what investigators established.
Three hours later, my phone rang from a blocked number. I almost ignored it, but curiosity won. Minerva's voice exploded before I could say hello. "Patrick, what the hell did you do? They stopped me outside Target. They're telling me your car is reported taken without permission."
"It was taken without permission."
"You let me drive it for months!"
"I did. While we lived together. I told you in writing today that permission had ended and asked for it back. Landon told me you were keeping it to make me give you things you'd already collected."
"They're towing it. Do you realize how humiliating this is?"
For a moment, I wanted to tell her humiliation was exactly what she'd served me with dinner. Instead, I said, "I'm not discussing this on the phone. Speak to the officer handling it."
She called me cruel. She called me cheap. She said everything she'd ever suspected about me had been confirmed. Then she hung up.
I sat there in the break room at work, holding my phone and staring at the vending machine, feeling exhausted rather than victorious. The vehicle had been recovered, but it would still take paperwork and an appointment to retrieve it. Nothing about this was the entertaining victory scene her social media had taught her to expect from other people's lives.
I got the Honda back that evening after showing proof of ownership and completing the necessary release process. The officer handling the file explained that investigators would review whether the facts supported a criminal charge for unauthorized use, and that any charging decision belonged to the prosecutor. The vehicle was undamaged, although it smelled strongly of Minerva's vanilla air freshener. I drove it home with the windows cracked and parked behind the house, thinking about how much effort she had spent making sure the relationship remained an argument long after it was over.