She could date.
So could I.
Connor turned out to be decent.
He worked in physical therapy.
Liked terrible action movies.
Was extremely bad at Codenames.
I destroyed everyone.
Halfway through the night, I went into the kitchen for another drink.
Tara followed.
“You don’t care.”
I looked at her.
“About what?”
She glanced toward the living room.
“Connor.”
“What about him?”
“You’re not even bothered.”
“Should I be?”
Her eyes narrowed.
“You really feel nothing?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“You didn’t react at all.”
“He seems nice.”
That answer offended her more.
“You’re unbelievable.”
I leaned against the counter.
“Tara, we’re friends.”
“So?”
“Friends date people.”
“You know this is different.”
“How?”
“It just is.”
“Would you expect Jason to be jealous if you brought someone?”
“That is not the same.”
“Why?”
She opened her mouth.
Closed it.
Because there was only one honest answer.
It was different because she wanted me to remain emotionally attached to her in a way ordinary friends were not.
She walked away without answering.
That night, something else happened.
Marissa talked to me.
A lot.
At first, I assumed she was checking on me because she felt guilty about being involved in the breakup logistics.
She sat beside me during a game.
Made jokes.
Asked about a project I had mentioned months earlier.
When I went to the kitchen, she followed a few minutes later and asked whether I wanted help carrying drinks.
Once or twice, she touched my arm while laughing.
I noticed.
I did nothing with the information.
Marissa was Tara’s best friend.
I had just been dumped.
The last thing I needed was to turn a painful breakup into a cheap revenge story.
But apparently Tara noticed too.
The next morning:
What was that with you and Marissa?
I replied:
What was what?
You know exactly what.
I genuinely did not.
The flirting.
I stared at the message.
We were talking.
Tara:
She is my best friend.
Me:
And I’m your friend too, right?
No response.
Three days.
Then Tara changed tactics.
Thursday afternoon:
I think I made a mistake.
I looked at the message for a full minute.
Then replied:
About what?
Us.
Maybe we should talk.
There was still a part of me that reacted.
Two years do not disappear in three weeks.
My chest tightened.
I imagined her saying she wanted to come home.
I imagined agreeing.
Then I remembered Connor.
The boundaries.
The fact that Tara had not said she wanted us back.
Only that she might have made a mistake.