"So you might get divorced."
Simon looked at me.
Neither of us lied.
"Maybe," he said softly.
I hated him for saying it.
For perhaps ten seconds.
Then I realized he had been kinder than I was.
He had not made a promise he could not keep.
After June went to bed, I found Simon in the home office packing files.
"What are you doing?"
"Taking some work things to my parents' house."
"You're moving out permanently now?"
"I didn't say that."
"You're acting like it."
He placed folders into a box.
"Simon, please."
He stopped.
"What?"
"I don't want this."
"I don't want June scared."
"I don't want us living separately."
"Then tell me what you do want."
"I want you home."
"And then?"
"We move forward."
"How?"
"We stop letting one stupid incident control everything."
His expression changed.
"What about what happened after?"
"What?"
"The post."
"The lies about counseling."
"Telling June I'm dramatic."
"Blaming me for why you kissed Liam."
"Saying you'd maybe do it again."
"Do all of those disappear too?"
"I was angry."
"So was I."
"I didn't kiss anyone."
That sentence hit me harder than I admitted.
"You're acting like you're perfect."
"No."
He stepped closer.
"I'm acting like this marriage cannot survive if every time you hurt me, the next conversation becomes about what I did to deserve being hurt."
I had no answer.
He continued.
"You want me to come home."
"I want to."
"I miss June every night."
"I miss my own bed."
"I miss you."
His voice cracked slightly.
That was the first time I realized leaving was hurting him too.
"But I don't know how to come back while you're still arguing that protecting our marriage is somehow a limitation on your freedom."
I whispered:
"It was one kiss."
His eyes closed.
When they opened, the sadness in them was almost unbearable.
"I know."
"And you still don't understand why that sentence is the problem."
He carried the box downstairs.
Monday morning, a courier knocked.
I saw the envelope and knew before I opened it.
Legal documents.
My hands shook while I signed.
Inside:
Petition for Legal Separation.
Request for Temporary Parenting Plan.
Financial Disclosure Notice.
No accusations of adultery.
No demand that I lose June.
No theatrical language.
That almost made it worse.
Simon was not trying to punish me through court.
He was making the separation real.
He requested shared legal custody.
A temporary schedule that gave June substantial time with both of us.
A provision requiring both parents not to disparage the other in June's presence.
Continuation of joint payment of household and child expenses until mediation.
It was reasonable.
I wanted unreasonable.
Unreasonable would have allowed me to dismiss it.
My phone rang an hour later.
Patricia Chen.
Simon's attorney.
"Mrs. Maris, I'm calling to confirm that you've received the filing."
"This is insane."