He asked when they pulled up. No. I should do this alone. Okay. Clara didn't move. What if I can't do this?
What if I'm not enough? You are enough. You've been enough this whole time. That was temporary. This is forever.
What if I screw her up? You won't. You don't know that. Yeah, I do. Because you're already worrying about it.
Bad parents don't worry. Clara managed a weak smile. That's a low bar. Maybe. But you clear it by miles.
She squeezed his hand once, then got out of the truck and walked toward the school entrance. Ethan watched her disappear inside and tried not to think about how much he wanted to fix this for her. How easy it would be to make one call, throw enough money at the problem that it simply ceased to exist. But that wasn't what she needed. Clara emerged 10 minutes later with Lily, who was chattering in sign language about something that happened during art class.
She saw Ethan through the windshield and waved enthusiastically. "Hey kid," Ethan said when they climbed in. Lily signed something, her expression curious. "She wants to know if Jake is coming over," Clara translated, her voice carefully neutral. "Not today, but soon."
Lily signed again, more insistent. "She says you promised." "I promised to bring him for her birthday party. That's still happening." This seemed to satisfy Lily, who went back to signing about art class.
Clara translated mechanically, but Ethan could see the tension in her shoulders, the way she kept glancing at Lily like she was memorizing her. Back at the apartment, Clara made them snacks while Lily arranged her bookshelf for what had to be the hundredth time. Ethan sat at the folding table and pretended to look at his phone while actually watching Clara move through the small kitchen with precise, controlled movements. She was holding it together by pure force of will. "Lily," Clara signed after a few minutes.
"Come here. I need to talk to you." Lily bounded over, still happy and unaware. She climbed onto the couch beside Clara, looking up at her aunt with complete trust. Ethan stood.
"I can go." "Stay," Clara said. "Please." So he sat back down and watched Clara take a deep breath and try to find words for something that had no good words. "You know how your mom has been gone a lot?
Clara signed slowly. Lily nodded, her expression starting to shift. She's not coming back this time. She decided that it's better for you to live with me always. Not just for a little while.
Lily's hands moved. Clara shook her head. Not visiting, not later. She's not going to be part of our lives anymore. Ethan didn't need a translation to understand what happened next.
Lily's face crumpled. She signed something rapid and desperate, and Clara signed back, her own eyes filling with tears. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Lily threw herself at Clara, sobbing into her shoulder.
Clara held her tight, one hand on the back of Lily's head, rocking slightly. I've got you, Clara murmured, even though Lily couldn't hear. I've got you. You're safe. You're staying with me forever now.
I've got you. Ethan looked away, his throat tight. This was private grief, the kind that shouldn't have an audience. But Clara had asked him to stay, so he stayed. After what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes, Lily's sobs quieted to hiccups.
She pulled back and signed something to Clara. Yes, Clara signed back. I promise. You're not going anywhere. You're mine now, forever.
Lily signed again, looking at Ethan this time. Clara's voice was rough when she translated. She wants to know if you're leaving, too. No, Ethan said immediately. I'm not going anywhere.
Clara signed it. Lily studied him with red, swollen eyes, then nodded slowly. She climbed off the couch and walked to her bookshelf, pulling out her favorite book and bringing it to Ethan. She wants you to read to her, Clara said. She always wants books when she's upset.
So Ethan read a picture book about a girl who could talk to animals, signing the words as best he could with his limited knowledge, while Lily curled against his side. Clara sat nearby, watching them with an expression that made Ethan's chest hurt. By the time Sarah Chen knocked on the door at 6:00, Lily had fallen asleep against Ethan's shoulder, exhausted from crying. Clara answered the door and led the lawyer inside, both of them keeping their voices low. Sarah was younger than Ethan expected, maybe early 30s, with sharp eyes and a leather portfolio that looked expensive.
She took in the small apartment, the sleeping child, the pile of legal documents on the table, and her expression softened slightly. "You must be Clara," she said, extending her hand. "Yeah." "Thanks for coming on such short notice." "Of course."
Sarah glanced at Ethan, then back at Clara. "Should we talk in another room?" "There is no other room. This is it." Sarah set her portfolio on the table and pulled out a legal pad.
"Okay. Let's start from the beginning. Your sister is voluntarily terminating parental rights?" "Yeah." "And you want to file for legal guardianship?"
"Adoption, actually, if that's possible." Sarah made a note. "It's possible. Stronger than guardianship, actually, since it makes you the legal parent in all respects, but it's also more complicated. We'll need home studies, background checks, financial documentation.
I don't have much money," Clara interrupted. "I'm barely making rent right now. Is that going to be a problem?" "It's not ideal, but it's not disqualifying. What matters more is stability, steady income, safe housing, ability to provide for the child's needs.
Do you have a job?" "Freelance graphic design." "How long?" "3 years full-time, 5 years total." Sarah made more notes.
"That's good. Consistent work history. What about housing? How long have you been here?" "2 years."
"And before that?" "Different apartment in the same neighborhood." "Good. Stability Sarah looked up. I'm going to be honest with you, Clara.
This is going to be expensive. Not just my fees, but court costs, evaluation fees, potentially expert witnesses if your sister contests. She won't contest. She wants this. People say that then change their minds.