"Then you should take responsibility for your household."
Emily set the plates down carefully, as though any sudden movement might make the situation less safe. "We are responsible for our household. We pay our assessments. We keep the place in good condition."
"We follow the pet rules. If you've identified a real violation, send it to me with the rule attached. But I don't authorize you to search for excuses to punish us because you don't like Mark."
Linda stared at her, then turned toward my cooler. "All this equipment is illegally occupying the common area. The cooler needs to go, too."
"It's not common property," I said.
"Move it."
"I have permission to place it here for the authorized use."
She reached toward the cooler handle. I moved one step between her and it, keeping my arms down and my voice even. "Linda, stop. Do not touch my property."
Her hand froze. She looked at me, then at the phone, then back at me. Something about the expression in her eyes changed as she seemed to realize she had been given a new allegation to make. She took a step backward and pressed her hand to her chest.
"You threatened me," she said.
"No. I asked you not to touch my belongings."
"You stepped toward me. You intimidated me."
"I moved between you and the cooler. My hands are at my sides."
"I am calling the police."
"All right."
My agreement appeared to offend her more than a protest would have. She said I was making a mockery of community rules and that she would ensure the board pursued every available penalty. Then she turned, walked toward the clubhouse, and dialed her phone. I let her go without another word.
Emily waited until Linda was far enough away that we could talk privately. "You could have told me she was watching the unit," she said.
"I didn't know until she said it."
"I heard her. I just can't believe she admitted it out loud."
"Neither can I."
Emily looked down at my phone. "You recorded that?"
"Yes. The file is saved."
She took a breath, looked at the steaks, and laughed once without humor. "I used to think the weirdest thing you'd ever do for me was alphabetize my baking supplies. Now I'm standing on public grass waiting for a police officer to mediate dinner."
I turned down the heat while we decided how to proceed. The steaks were almost done, and I was not going to keep an appliance operating if I had to focus entirely on a confrontation. Emily carried the plates to the cooler and stayed beside me. We watched Linda meet Richard near the pool gate, where she pointed repeatedly in our direction while he listened with one hand covering the lower part of his face.
Richard arrived about twenty minutes later. He did not approach at once. He stood with Linda, examined the stakes from a distance, and made two calls of his own. I could see uncertainty replacing some of his earlier confidence, but I also saw him try to recover it by standing straighter and gesturing toward the grill. They were still talking when the first patrol car turned through the entrance.