I stared.
“Say what you mean.”
“He made me feel beautiful.”
“I thought you were beautiful.”
“You stopped saying it.”
That landed.
Because it was probably true.
Not completely.
Enough.
I had become comfortable.
I assumed she knew what I felt.
That was a failure.
Not justification.
I sat opposite her.
“You could have told me.”
“I tried.”
“You mocked me.”
“I know.”
“You compared me to him.”
“I know.”
“You tried to make me jealous tonight.”
She covered her face.
Silence.
Amanda looked at her.
“Did you?”
Leah whispered:
“Yes.”
That was the most honest answer of the night.
“Why?”
I asked.
She slowly lowered her hands.
“Because you stopped reacting.”
I almost could not process it.
“You were angry because I stopped reacting to being humiliated?”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“I thought you didn’t care.”
“So you kissed the man you were actually sleeping with in front of our friends to test whether I cared?”
Leah started crying harder.
When stated plainly, her behavior sounded as irrational as it was.
She said:
“I don’t know what was wrong with me.”
I looked at the clock.
12:31.
“I do.”
She stared.
“You wanted evidence I could still be controlled by losing you.”
She flinched.
“That’s cruel.”
“No.”
I shook my head.
“It’s the first explanation that fits.”
Amanda sat quietly now.
Leah whispered:
“I thought you’d fight.”
“I did.”
“When?”
“For months.”
“That wasn’t fighting.”
“What would fighting look like?”
She had no answer.
“Yelling?”
“Threatening Nolan?”
“Checking your phone?”
“Forbidding you from going places?”
“Would that have made you respect me more?”
Leah whispered:
“I don’t know.”
I did.
If I had become controlling, she would have used that as evidence that the marriage was toxic.
If I stayed calm, she called me indifferent.
Again, there had been no correct answer.
Only a game where Leah controlled the rules.
I stood.
“I’m leaving tonight.”
Her head snapped up.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“A townhouse.”
“You rented somewhere?”
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“Three months.”
She looked genuinely stunned.
“You already have another place.”
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t tell me.”
“I’m telling you now.”
Her voice rose.
“That is so manipulative.”
Amanda stared at her.
Leah heard herself.
She closed her eyes.
“I know.”
That was the first time she corrected herself without anyone else doing it.
I went upstairs.
Packed the last few things.
My toiletries.
Laptop charger.
Two shirts.
Shoes.
When I came back down, Leah was standing beside the door.