I pushed my chair back.
Meredith reached across the table.
“Nathan.”
“Don’t.”
“Please listen.”
“To what?”
“I’m being honest.”
“After months.”
“I didn’t understand it before.”
“You understand it now?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
She took a breath.
“Callum says he feels the same.”
Of course he did.
“What does his wife think?”
“He hasn’t told her.”
I laughed without humor.
“That sounds healthy.”
Meredith flinched.
“I’m trying to do this correctly.”
“Correctly?”
“I haven’t cheated.”
At the time, I believed that statement enough to keep sitting there.
“What do you want?”
I asked.
“I need closure.”
The word would become almost absurdly important.
“Closure from what?”
“My relationship with him.”
“You ended that fifteen years ago.”
“Not emotionally.”
I stared.
“You married me.”
“I know.”
“Was that not closure?”
“That’s not fair.”
“What exactly would be fair?”
She started crying.
That made my anger harder to hold.
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“Then don’t.”
“But I need to know why this still has power over me.”
“Therapy.”
“What?”
“Get a therapist.”
She looked offended.
“I mean it.”
“You want to understand why your ex has power over you?”
“Yes.”
“Talk to a therapist.”
“Not the ex.”
Meredith shook her head.
“You don’t understand.”
“No.”
“I really don’t.”
For the next month, she insisted she and Callum were trying to define boundaries.
Apparently, defining boundaries involved more conversation.
More lunches.
More messages.
Eventually, I said I could not continue.
That was when Meredith proposed the most unbelievable idea of our marriage.
“One last night.”
I stared at her.
“What?”
“One night.”
“With Callum.”
I genuinely thought I had misunderstood.
“For what?”
“To say goodbye properly.”
“You want to spend the night with your married ex-boyfriend.”
“When you say it like that—”
“How else is there to say it?”
Meredith stood and paced.
“It doesn’t mean we’re going to have sex.”
I laughed.
She became furious.
“Nathan.”
“You want my permission?”
“I want honesty.”
“No.”
“What?”
“No.”
She stared.
“Then I guess we know where we stand.”
“Yes.”
“We do.”
For two days, we barely spoke.
Then Meredith changed tactics.
She became gentle.
She said the night was symbolic.
Callum had accepted a long consulting assignment in London.
He would leave in less than two weeks.
She said if she could spend one evening talking through their history, maybe she could finally close the door.
I asked:
“Why overnight?”
“Because the hotel is twenty miles away and there’ll be wine.”
“Then take a taxi home.”