“It was.”
“Are you still in love with her?”
“No.”
She watched me carefully.
“Still angry?”
“Sometimes.”
“Good.”
I looked surprised.
“Good?”
“I’d be more worried if you had no feelings about it.”
That answer made me trust her.
Emily did not compete with Sarah.
She never asked whether she was prettier.
More successful.
More exciting.
She was not interested in winning a contest Sarah no longer participated in.
That made our relationship feel different from the beginning.
Slow.
Adult.
Unforced.
Several months after we started dating, we decided to try a new restaurant downtown.
I was laughing as we entered because Emily had just told me a story about accidentally sending a sarcastic message about her manager directly to the manager instead of her friend.
Then I saw Sarah.
She was sitting alone near the entrance.
For a second, I did not recognize her.
Not because she had changed dramatically.
Because I was no longer accustomed to seeing her.
Her hair was pulled back.
No elaborate makeup.
She looked tired.
There were shadows beneath her eyes.
Her phone sat beside an untouched glass of water.
Emily noticed my expression.
“What?”
“That’s Sarah.”
She looked toward the table once.
Then back to me.
“You okay?”
I thought about it.
“Yes.”
And I was.
The hostess seated us across the restaurant.
Not directly opposite Sarah, but visible.
We ordered drinks.
Emily resumed the story she had been telling.
Within minutes, I was laughing again.
Then I glanced across the room.
Sarah was staring at us.
Our eyes met.
Her face changed.
I looked away.
A few minutes later, she stood.
I knew immediately where she was going.
Emily followed my gaze.
“Is she coming here?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No.”
“Want me to say something?”
“No.”
Emily nodded.
“All right.”
Sarah stopped beside the table.
“Alex.”
“Sarah.”
Her eyes shifted toward Emily.
“Can I talk to you?”
“You are.”
“Alone.”
“No.”
The answer surprised her.
She looked at Emily again.
I said:
“Sarah, this is Emily. Emily, this is Sarah.”
Emily gave a polite nod.
“Hi.”
Sarah barely acknowledged it.
“Alex, please. One minute.”
“I said no.”
Her composure cracked.
“Things are really bad.”
I waited.
“Liam is gone.”
I knew from public reporting that Liam’s legal problems had become serious and that his relationship with Sarah had collapsed under the investigation.
“My family barely talks to me.”
That hurt her.
I could see it.