She folded her arms.
“Why do you always make everything difficult?”
I stared at her.
“I’m trying to understand why our honeymoon suddenly changed because your boss took a trip.”
“That is such an insecure way to put it.”
That word stayed with me.
Insecure.
It became convenient.
Any discomfort I expressed about Liam became evidence that I was threatened by a successful man.
So I stopped asking.
That was a mistake.
Not because asking would have prevented the affair.
I do not believe that.
Sarah had already begun making choices without me.
My mistake was distrusting my own perception because trusting her felt more virtuous.
The truth came out on a Sunday evening at her parents’ house.
We had dinner there once or twice a month.
Her parents liked hosting. Her mother always cooked too much, and her father believed any gathering with fewer than three side dishes represented poor planning.
That evening, several relatives were there.
Sarah’s uncle had recently sold an investment property and was talking about real estate.
Someone asked about my promotion.
I explained the new role, the added responsibilities, and how I hoped the increase in income would help Sarah and me buy a house after the wedding.
Her uncle smiled.
“You’re thinking ahead.”
“I try.”
He looked at Sarah.
“You’ve got a good one here.”
Sarah’s expression changed.
I noticed immediately.
A small tightening around her mouth.
Her uncle continued.
“Steady job, plans for a family, responsible. A real one.”
Sarah gave a short laugh.
Not a warm one.
Her mother left the dining room to bring dessert.
Her father followed to help.
For a moment, only a few of us remained around the table.
Sarah looked at her uncle.
Then at me.
“He is a real one.”
Her voice was strange.
“You’re safe, Alex.”
I frowned.
“What?”
“You’re secure.”
She leaned back in the chair.
“You have a plan for everything.”
Nobody spoke.
I felt several people suddenly become very interested in their glasses.
“Is that supposed to be bad?”
Sarah shrugged.
“It’s not bad.”
“Okay.”
“It’s just not enough for everybody.”
Her uncle said her name quietly.
“Sarah.”
She ignored him.
“I don’t want a man who spends his whole life playing it safe.”
I stared at her.
“What are you talking about?”
“I want someone who takes risks.”
She looked directly at me.
“Someone who wants more than a house in the suburbs and a 401(k).”
My entire body went cold.
I knew before she said the name.
Maybe some part of me had known for weeks.
“Is this about Liam?”
Sarah smiled.
That smile was the moment I understood there was something happening that went far beyond admiration.
“I told you about Liam.”
“You told me he was your boss.”
“He is.”
I waited.
Sarah looked around the room, almost annoyed that I was making her say it.
“We’ve been seeing each other.”
The phrase sounded ridiculous.
Seeing each other.
As if they had been meeting for coffee.
“What does that mean?”
“You know what it means.”
“No.”
I heard my own voice become very quiet.
“I want you to say it.”
Sarah’s uncle stood.
“I’m going to give you two privacy.”
Sarah shook her head.
“No. It’s fine.”
That was another humiliation.