"You don't know."
"I'm confused."
"You came home saying you had clarity."
"I thought I did."
"But now you're asking—"
"One question."
"It's not one question."
"It changes the whole context."
I set the plate down.
"Did he tell you he wanted to be with you?"
Claire cried harder.
"Not now."
"That's not an answer."
"Nathan, please."
"Did he?"
She looked away.
I suddenly understood the shape of it.
Not every detail.
Enough.
"He said he wasn't ready."
Claire flinched.
I continued.
"Didn't he?"
"He's getting divorced."
"Of course he's not ready."
"Maybe he told you he needed time."
"Maybe he said someday."
"Maybe he said he couldn't promise anything."
"Stop."
"You went there to see if the old relationship could become real again."
"That's not true."
"Then tell me he asked you to leave me and you refused."
Silence.
"Tell me."
She could not.
I nodded.
There are discoveries that make you louder.
This one made me quieter.
"You didn't choose me."
"I did."
"No."
"You came back to the available option."
"That's not fair."
"You tested him."
"It didn't work."
"So now you're calling me the answer."
Claire's face crumpled.
"That's not what happened."
"Tell me what happened."
She raised her phone.
"I need to call my sister."
"Go ahead."
I picked up my keys.
"Where are you going?"
"For a drive."
"We need to talk."
"I've heard enough for tonight."
"Nathan."
I stopped at the doorway.
"You left for two weeks."
"You can handle two hours."
Then I drove.
No destination.
Just roads.
I circled through neighborhoods, highways, parking lots.
At one point I pulled into a gas station and sat beneath fluorescent lights while strangers bought drinks inside.
My phone rang.
Claire.
Again.
Again.
Emily.
Claire.
Emily.
I turned it facedown.
The strange thing was I was not imagining Claire sleeping with Julian anymore.
That question had become almost secondary.
The image tormenting me was different.
Claire sitting beside him on the last night.
Asking:
What does this mean?
Hoping.
Waiting.
Julian hesitating.
Then Claire driving back to me.
My home as fallback position.
My marriage as the safe account she had not closed while testing a riskier investment.
I hated thinking of it that way.
But I worked in finance.
My brain used the language it knew.
When I returned shortly before midnight, Emily's SUV was in the driveway.
I kept driving.
Booked a hotel five miles away.
Claire texted:
Please come home.
Then:
You're misunderstanding.