She smiled when she saw Milo and knelt.
"Oh my God, I missed you."
Milo climbed halfway into her lap.
I stood near the stairs.
Claire looked up.
"Hi."
"Hi."
She came toward me.
Hugged me.
My arms did not move for the first two seconds.
Then reflex took over.
I hugged her lightly.
She smelled like her shampoo and something unfamiliar.
Probably the lodge.
Probably my imagination.
"How was it?"
I asked.
"Good."
She smiled faintly.
"Really good."
That answer told me more than she understood.
"I'm glad I went."
"Did you get your closure?"
"I think so."
She picked up her suitcase.
"Can we talk after I shower?"
I nodded.
She carried two weeks upstairs like luggage.
I stood in the hallway.
Milo followed her.
Traitor.
While Claire showered, I made dinner.
I do not know why.
Routine, probably.
Pasta.
Garlic.
Tomato sauce from a jar.
Salad.
The act of chopping vegetables felt almost surreal.
My wife had just returned from fourteen days with another man, and I was mincing garlic.
Claire came downstairs in sweatpants and one of my old university shirts.
Her hair was damp.
For one dangerous second, she looked exactly like the woman I had married.
We sat.
She ate several bites before speaking.
"It was intense."
I waited.
"We talked about everything."
"Everything."
"Why we broke up."
"Things we regretted."
"How we've changed."
"What his marriage was like."
"What ours is like."
My fork stopped.
"You discussed our marriage."
"Of course."
"Of course."
Claire frowned.
"Please don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make every sentence sound like an accusation."
"I'm listening."
She inhaled.
"I understand things better now."
"Like what?"
"Why Julian and I were never going to work when we were young."
"Why I chose you."
"Why what we have is different."
That sounded rehearsed.
Maybe she had rehearsed it on the drive.
"And?"
"And I know what I want."
My stomach tightened.
"What?"
"You."
She reached across the table.
"I want this marriage."
"I want us."
"I needed to go there to understand it."
I should have felt relief.
Instead, suspicion became almost physical.
"You needed to be with him to know you wanted me."
"Spending time with him."
I looked at her.
"Being with him."
Claire pulled her hand back.
"You know what I mean."
"Do I?"
She sighed.
"Nathan, I know this is unconventional."
"That's one word."
"I asked you to trust me."
"I did not agree to this."
"We discussed it."
"We argued."