"Old feelings came back."
"Did you tell him you were still married?"
"Of course."
"Apparently that wasn't an obstacle."
Her face tightened.
"I know."
I waited.
"What happened after you slept together?"
"We panicked."
"Then?"
"We talked."
"Then we slept together again."
I laughed once.
Bitter.
"So the panic was temporary."
Claire wiped tears from her cheeks.
"We fell into old patterns."
"You spent the next week acting like a couple."
She looked at me.
"Yes."
There it was.
Finally.
No euphemism.
No closure.
A two-week affair with a nostalgic preface.
"What happened on the last night?"
Claire did not answer.
I knew.
"Tell me."
She swallowed.
"I asked what it meant."
"And?"
"He said he didn't know."
"He said his divorce wasn't final."
"He wasn't ready to jump directly into another relationship."
"He needed time."
"How much?"
"He didn't know."
"Did he say maybe later?"
She closed her eyes.
"Yes."
I stared at her.
"He benched you."
Her eyes opened.
"What?"
"He benched you."
"Put you on hold."
"Maybe in six months."
"Maybe in a year."
"If we're both available."
Claire shook her head.
"That's not—"
"Did he say something like that?"
Silence.
"Yes."
I nodded.
"And then you drove home."
"I drove home because I realized what I was doing."
"When?"
"On the drive."
"After he refused to commit."
"That doesn't mean my realization wasn't real."
"Maybe it was."
"But it was triggered by rejection."
"He didn't reject me."
I looked at her.
"Claire."
She stopped.
I continued.
"If Julian had said, 'Come home, pack your things, and move in with me,' would you have told him no?"
Tears streamed down her face.
"I don't know."
There it was again.
The only honest answer.
I opened the car door.
Claire grabbed the edge.
"Don't."
"Let go."
"Please."
"We can go to counseling."
"We can fix this."
"I will never speak to him again."
"You took two weeks to decide whether you wanted him."
"I am allowed time to decide what I want now."
"Please don't compare those things."
"Why?"
"Because I made a mistake."
I stared at her.
"A mistake is getting drunk and kissing somebody once."
"A terrible mistake."
"You planned a trip."
"Packed a suitcase."
"Left after I explicitly told you I was not okay with it."
"Stopped contacting me."
"Slept with him."
"Spent more than a week pretending you were together."